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Tommy Update

What an annoying bastard. Keeps following me around, sniffing my arse. At least he hasn't tried to hump me since Tuesday. Thick as shit as well. Me Dad takes us outside, says "wee" and we do a wee and we get a bickie. Simple as. Not exactly rocket science that is it? It is for Tommy though, who just looks up at me Dad like he's speaking a foreign language or something! Does fuck all but still expects a bickie, the wanker. Well, I haven't actually caught him doing that yet, but it's only a matter of time I reckon. Talking of rocket science, we watched that Stephen Hawking film the other night, pretty good it was, even if I couldn't understand a fucking word he was saying. So I made up a little poem, here it is:

There once was a man called Hawking
Who got rather fed up of walking
So he sat on a scooter
Attached to a computer
And now he lets it do the talking

What do you reckon? I bet Tommy couldn't make stuff like that up. He hasn't even got a blog or an iPad or nothing.

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