Or Authur Daley as he was better know. Fell off the back of a lorry I imagine. Dennis Waterman says he'll only go to the funeral if he can write the eulogy, sing the eulogy! The McCann's don't have a very good record in looking after people do they? Christ, these celebs are dropping like flies this week. At least George got to 90, poor old Cilla only made 72. Still at least that was more than the Aussies. Bobbi Brown, there's another one down. Black, Brown, if Pink dies this week I reckon God must be playing celebrity snooker with himself. If she goes I might have a cheeky tenner on Sarah Green to be killed by a cannon fired by Jimmy White by the weekend. What odds do you reckon I'll get on that? Woof. Yes Tommy Knocker the retarded fuckwit Lakeland Terrier is still here, thanks for asking. The brainless twat. You want to see the size of the shits he does for a little fella. He did one so large this morning that it had it's own gravitational pull, I kid you not. There was enough steam coming off it to power a small housing estate for six months. Fuck know how me Dad managed to pick that up. I didn't look, it really makes me gyp when he does that. Then he had to carry it half a mile to the pooh bin. Banging against his leg it was, like fucking Big Ben striking the fucking hour every fucking yard it was . BANG! BANG! BANG! Mine are much more dainty. Unless I've had a curry of course. Things can be a bit more "moist" if I've been at the old jafrezi. You don't so much need a pooh bag as a power-washer when I've had one of them rascals. Woof.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.