Lost her pocket, Kitty "the Gyppo" Fisher found it. Unfortunately she only found it after Lucy's iPhone and dinner money had gone missing. She was unlucky like that Kitty. Always finding things a bit too late. Like when she found the teachers purse stuffed down the back of the radiator AFTER the Christmas Charity money got half-inched. "It's a Romany curse" said Kitty's Mum. Kitty's Dad didn't say anything. He's inside doing a 12-stretch for kicking a man with a speech impediment unconscious in the queue at Greggs when he asked for "two Pikey pies". An unlucky family really. Still, they've got a nice caravan.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...