Skip to main content

I'm alright Jack

It would have been me Dad's 59th birthday today, God knows what he would have made of the current pile of shite we're all facing.

No doubt he would have made some sarky comment about stockpiling toilet rolls. As he once wittily observed you could always use the Daily Mail instead.

Just like war  - WAR! ... what is it good for? Nothing, absolutely nothing. NOT unless you count bashing the Labour Party for the last 100 years, and perpetuating the status quo.

Mind you using the Mail would have blocked the khazi big style. So, he didn't really think that through - did he?

I've got log cabin fever even more than usual now, with fuck all to do but wee on the floor, have a quick dump, dream about pigs ears. I can't even be arsed to swear much.

Still; I've been careful keeping my paws to the ground, and putting ... ahem ... a few items aside for when the shit hits the fan.


The keen eyed amongst you - which EXCLUDES Thomas Bell of Brigg obviously - will have noted there are no pigs ears in my secret stash.

Still, I'm alright Jack.

Woof !

Popular posts from this blog

Fucking Passwords

Create a password..... cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.... boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou DontGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, that password is already in use! See  Fucking phone calls too
Read more

My Mate Frank

Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...
Read more

RIP Frank Carson

It's a little known fact that Frank Carson actually got into comedy purely by chance. When he was a young man, he was a church bell-ringer in Northern Ireland, but he was so bad at it that every time he rang the bells, everyone immediately burst out laughing. It was the way he tolled them. Pooh count: two, and one of them a cracker that has your name on it Frankie. You can pick it up from Pearly Gates reception on your way in.
Read more